Derek Eats Food

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Taco John's Flamin' Hot Cheetos Burrito

03 May 2014

Visited: 21 Apr 2014

Taco John’s has a Flamin’ Hot Cheetos burrito? Count me in. I just had my first taste of TJ’s while I was in Omaha and it was pretty solid late night food. I hit up the one at 48th and Vine after work for some tasty, tasty dinner.

Burrito

I read the flavor text for the ingenious new concoction while I waited for my meal. First warning sign: chorizo. I mean what does it take for a guy to get some regular hamburger in here? Second warning sign: custom tortilla. I’ve never been a fan of non-normal tortillas, like those spinach wraps, you know? Just put actual spinach in there, it’ll taste way better.

Here goes…

Bite

I’ve made a huge mistake.

Such a combination of textures and flavors have never before been united on this earth. The red crunch of the cheetos, the slimy cheese, the limp jalapenos, the squishy chorizo, the gummy tortilla… I got chills throughout my body. The contentious Cheetos flavor refused to be subdued by any of its tortilla roommates. You would be better off just ordering a regular burrito, then driving somewhere else and buying some hot Cheetos.

The whole thing gained 10 pounds once it hit my stomach. Maybe that was just the nacho cheese on the potato Oles. Potato Oles are pretty great, but way greasy, and I have some serious respect for anyone who finishes that whole tub of nacho cheese and lives to tell about it.

Bite

Oh look, I brought all my friends with me! Seriously though, I surfed the nets for like 15 minutes on my phone after I finished and nobody else showed up. Not even in the drive-through. This was at 5:30pm. I can’t imagine how they’re still in business.

Don’t eat this travesty.

Grade: Nope